There is much to think about 'giving and generosity'
Perhaps that's a problem in itself - the 'thought' behind the giving
Generosity is about giving without any thought or constraint behind it
In other words, giving unconditionally and with only one thought - the
thought of giving itself
Quite simply, I give because I wish to give...
But what makes me 'want' to give - well, it's kindness
I believe that generosity and kindness go hand-in-hand
One cannot exist without the other
Remember... it doesn't matter if your gift is taken for granted or
that you're not thought of, or appreciated as you would like - it's
about yourself in the giving and not the recipient and how they
receive the gift
Don't let thoughts or doubts hold you back when the time arises
and don't expect anything in return, for it's more noble to
give than it is to recieve
Marcello
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4 comments:
hi Marcello,
Lovely reflection..thank you!! Yes I agree it is the intention behind the giving that we need to be mindful of..
But I think one has to be mindful of their generosity in how it can harm others. Going back to the saying "Give a person a fish, and they feed for a day; Teach a person to fish, and they feed for a lifetime." I'm not saying that we shouldn't give, but we should consider how we are giving. If our giving is to the detriment of another's learning or somehow upsets a good balance, we should be aware of the consequences.
If a person is giving and appears generous because of it, do we assume kindness? I think not. I think only a person them self can weigh out why they are doing something. Everybody has their own reasons and methods of generosity. People may be 'generous' for many reasons other than kindness. They may feel indebted, or ashamed. Is this generosity? Having not attended a Generosity session, I've probably missed the discussion on the definition ;)
Thank you for the opportunity of counter reflection Marcello.
Thanks for that Marcello. There are a few points in there that I disagree on. I'll start with a passage from Liaofan's Four Lessons.
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"In the Spring-Autumn Period, the country of Lu made a law that rewarded those who paid the ransom to free their follow citizens who were servant-slaves. At that time, Confucius had a rich student named Zigong who, although he paid the ransom to free people, did not accept the reward for doing so.
Upon hearing this, Confucius was very unhappy and scolded Zigong: 'You acted wrongly. When sages and virtuous people do something, it is to improve morality and teach people how to behave. We do not do something for self-benefit or reputation. In Lu, the poor outnumber the wealthy. Since you refused the reward, others will think accepting reward money is being greedy and if this happens, no one will pay the ransom to free our people.'
Another student of Confucius, Zilu, once saw a man drowning in the river and rescued him. Later, the man thanked him by giving him a cow. When Confucius heard that Zilu had accepted the gift, he was happy and said: 'In the future, people will be eager to help those who are drowning.'
In the eyes of ordinary people, Zigong's refusal of the reward money was good, while Zilu's acceptance of the cow was not. Who would have expected Confucius to praise Zilu and scold Zigong! From this, we can see that those who practice good deeds must not only consider the current outcome but that of the future as well. Neither should we only consider our own gain and loss but think about the impact made on others."
~~~~~~~~~~
From this, I do not believe that
"it's more noble to give than it is to recieve"
because we live by example and we lead by example. If receiving makes people change their bad habits and do good, then the receiving has brought benefits to everyone and is more "noble" than the giving.
The lesson from Liaofan also points out that sages and virtuous people don't do something because they feel like it. So if I am to give because I wish to give, or because it makes me feel good to give, I am ashamed to say that I am being short-sighted and selfish and the virtue of the giving is turned.
Furthermore, I myself don't necessarily give out of kindness. There have been times when I've given out of sincere respect.
Although I disagree on some of what was said, thanks for the opportunity for reflection :)
To take the lesson on Zilu one step further, I first also thought that accepting the cow would not be something that I would do. Afterall, I would not have saved someone with the thought that I would be getting a cow. I understand the point the story is trying to make which made me think further. I think it depends on surrounding conditions. If the area is populated by selfish people, then maybe accepting the cow is good as it would encourage others into good action. But it may also be bad because it encourages the saviour to expect a reward. What if whoever was saved was so poor they could not afford anything more than a shared meal? Teaching people to expect a reward of cow-like proportions would be too much!
I do not necessarily agree with the acceptance of the cow for a reward without knowing more regarding the surrounding conditions, but I do agree that we should consider its impact on others.
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