On the other side of giving is receiving.
Is it wrong of a person to keep giving if the other person is not comfortable receiving?
I guess this then requires people to self-reflect why they may be uncomfortable with receiving. But if they are not ready for this self-reflection, then is it still the givers right to give? Especially if the receiver is actively resisting?
Or does it then becomes the giver's responsibility to determine what it is they should give to best help the person receiving?
Is all this consideration counterproductive to an earlier quote on this site from Mother Teresa about what people may think, and doing it anyway.
Regardless of which, in the words of Mother Teresa, "I believe it is not what we do, but how much love we put into doing it." May 1982, address in Rome
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3 comments:
Hi YP,
I do agree with what you say in
that it 'is' important to be mindful when giving (and receiving)
When I wrote down my thoughts, I was speaking of myself and how
I view the simple act of giving
at a very basic level
Althought it's important to be mindful, it's very difficult to know what's in peoples hearts and minds at any point in time with the greatest degree of certainty
However, it shouldn't preclude anyone from being generous when it is felt that the gift and the time is right.
Remember that a gift may only be just a smile and a 'hello'. It may or may not be recieved positively, but at the very least, you have reached out just a little and you have made a difference to their day
My view is that there is always a risk whenever you reach out to someone else...
I have a very simple philosophy however, which is: 'give in good faith and always accept a gift graciously'
I'm not sure if I have answered your own questions as I would have liked, but you have given me more to think about...
Many thanks YP for sharing your thoughts as I find them very enriching
Marcello
Hi Yee Ping
Please see the quote from Liaofan's Four Lessons as a reference in my previous comment on Giving: http://philosophydp.blogspot.com/2008/11/giving.html
I think as a receiver I try to think if what I'm about to receive will benefit others. It's not always easy, but if the answer's yes, I go for it.
That is not to say that I have not received something that I didn't want before, especially when it comes from someone like my mum. It may be years later before I realise that what I received may not have been what I wanted, but it was what I needed to improve. And of course when I later confirm with mum if that was her intention the answer was yes =P
From this, I feel very fortunate to have living examples and references to giving and receiving for the benefit of others.
I think here's why sometimes I find it difficult to receive and why I am so cautious of it. There are some things that parents ingrain in their children from young and sometimes it's not a bad thing. Hardwire kids first, then as they grow older, they can sort out what's necessary and what's not.
As a young female, precautions I've learned and been hard wired with include not being friendly to everyone...particularly unsavoury characters. Over time, I've also learned that just because they appear clean etc, doesn't mean their intentions are good either. Nowadays, it doesn't mean that I won't reach out with a smile, but I calculate the risks first before reaching out. Vice versa, an extended friendliness is also accepted with caution and calculation of risks. I try and be very aware of the the possible consequences of my actions - without having to permanently live in a cardboard box. :)
It may not match the ideologies of philosophy, but it is a reality for me - an awareness required of living in today's society.
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